


The Plant Whisperer

by pillow forts (pyroooah)



Category: Naruto
Genre: BAMF Haruno Sakura, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Humor, Mokuton User Haruno Sakura, Non-Massacre AU, Possible Crossover?, What do you mean this isn't how it works?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:28:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26213419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pyroooah/pseuds/pillow%20forts
Summary: Okay, so here's how it goes.Rookie of the year, Uchiha Sasuke was not a happy camper. Konoha’s number one prankster, Uzumaki Naruto, already had a gazillion plans drawn out on chart paper for her powers’ new uses.Former ANBU captain, Hatake Kakashi, scratched his head about the implications of such a concept.“A Mokuton user, a Jinchuuriki and an Uchiha. There’s got to be a joke hidden somewhere in this.”
Relationships: Dai-nana-han | Team 7 & Hatake Kakashi
Comments: 32
Kudos: 534





	The Plant Whisperer

**Author's Note:**

> First off, a huge thank you to bonbonchan for beta-reading and the title. I finally have people who can actually beta my fic?? 
> 
> Second off, this is crack. PURE crack. 
> 
> Third off, Arizona tea and the discord server came together to form this mess. 
> 
> Fourth off, I can never probably write Mokuton!Sakura with an iota of seriousness, but like here's a sort of my attempt/homage to all the authors who actually write it seriously.

Okay, so here’s how the story goes.

Haruno Sakura was a young girl with an admiration for Hashirama Senju, a fascination for plants, and little else. Her hair was often kept her hair long and luscious. But no one considered the possibility that it was just a genetic trait.

Why would they? She was the daughter of a retired genin called Kizashi "pun-master" Haruno—who was absolutely notorious for his flower hair and puns—and a former chuunin called Mebuki Haruno.

It was a sweaty, hot day, and their sensei was late. 

Team seven was waiting on that training ground 3, underneath the shade of a forest of trees overlooking the glade where three poles stood. 

Sakura fanned herself. She’d been here since six in the morning, and the other two had showed up late. Because they were smarter. Naruto was complaining in her right ear. She relished the silence in her left ear. 

But that’s when Uchiha Sasuke opened his mouth. 

“Idiot.” 

Naruto swivelled his head around at that one, single word, and the next thing Sakura knew was that his fist sailed past her, and he tripped in front of Sasuke. 

“Hmmph.” Sasuke smirked.

“Sasuke! Prepare yourself!” 

The two proceeded to attempt to slug each other. Sakura simply stepped away from them with bewilderment. Why couldn’t they have put her on a different team? Why did they have to fight each other all the time?

But then Naruto decided to summon an _unfathomable_ amount of clones. Sasuke’s hands worked together quickly to form the seal for the fire-ball jutsu, and knowing the ambitious Uchiha Sasuke—it would be the biggest fire-ball that Konoha had ever seen. 

She was also right smack in the middle of them. 

“NARUTO!” 

“SASUKE!” 

Sakura didn’t want to die at the tender age of 12, and for whatever reason, the ground responded to her wishes. Thick roots emerged from the earth, and they twined themselves around both boys—Naruto and his clones stared. They were both wrenched from the ground, and the next thing they knew, the trees began to grow and grow and grow till—

“Stop it!” 

The trees stopped some fifty feet in the air, and it would only keep going. Naruto and Sasuke both looked down at a very terrified Sakura.

Naruto and his clones began to pop out one by one. 

* * *

Somewhere in the shade, Kakashi Hatake dropped his book, and a single sharingan spun around in his eye as he catalogued his two students being suspended some thirty-feet up in the air by a tree and its branches. He backtracked and glanced at the horrified pink-haired girl who walked up to the trees, and she began to shout to let them down frantically. 

The trees obliged her happily. 

Naruto fell towards Sakura, who failed to catch him—so he fell on her, knocking her down. She whined at him, while she nursed the back of her head with a glare. Sasuke landed smoothly, because his brother taught him how not to make a fool of himself.

He then proceeded to stare at Sakura as if she’d grown two heads. 

* * *

The girl was named Haruno Sakura, the Sandaime thought. Haruno Sakura was a bit on the nose, wasn’t it?

“Ah,” Mebuki said. “Well, as far as I know, I’m an orphan. Kizashi’s family is of the Haruno clan, and they lived in the Land of Tea before coming to Konoha. But Sakura’s not a Senju.” 

The Sandaime Hokage was getting a headache. “Do you know anything about your parents, Mebuki-san?” 

“Nope,” she said. “Not a thing.” 

“So you were _completely_ unaware that your child could have the Mokuton?” 

“Well,” she said. “She always did admire the Shodaime Hokage for reasons beyond me. She likes to talk to the plants in our garden—” 

“Our neighbours are _green_ with envy of our beautiful garden,” Kizashi interjected. 

“—and she’s always had quite the green thumb. Would you like some tomatoes of ours?” Mebuki continued. 

* * *

“The Second coming of Hashirama,” they gossiped about Sakura. “On the team of the Uchiha clan-head’s son's team too!” 

The Mokuton—made legendary by the First Hokage—for its use in battle against the Uchiha, became a source of interest and discussion around the Uchiha clan once more.

The elders and Fugaku interrogated Sasuke on her abilities. Some of the clan kids started a rumor that Sasuke and Sakura would have an epic battle on the level of Uchiha Madara and Senju Hashirama. Uchiha Izumi declared that they were star-crossed lovers, and filled with the stuff of epic romance novels and poems. All in all, no one would shut up about this new development, and it peeved Sasuke into saying:

"I really don't know what that freaky tree girl can do!"

In the village, everyone from the council elders, to a very skeevy Danzo, to the local fruit-seller discussed the matter of the Mokuton-girl. Jiraiya carried news from his sensei to a very disgruntled Tsunade, who decided she had had enough of her ex-teammate’s experiments on her Grandfather. 

“It’s not Orochimaru, Tsunade. It’s the real thing.” 

Senju clan-leader Tsunade—even if the clan itself had been obsolete for years—blinked at him. 

“Oh.” 

They lapsed into silence. 

“Tsunade.” 

“Don’t say it.” 

“Did your grandfathe—” 

“He didn’t.” Tsunade turned a shade of green. 

“Then Nidaime had a secret lover—” 

“I don’t want to talk about this,” Tsunade snapped. “I don’t want to track down her lineage.” 

“Isn’t that part of the duties of the Senju heiress?”

She groaned into her hands. 

“It is.” 

And _somewhere_ else, Orochimaru plotted as one of his spies got him information. 

* * *

Meanwhile in Konoha...

“Rumors say that Sasuke and Sakura plan to have a show-down of the century in the valley of the end,” Kiba said. 

“Really?” Chouji asked. 

“That’s what I heard too,” Ino said, and she leaned forward at Ichiraku. “Sasuke and Sakura have absolutely been at each other’s throats.” 

Shikamaru thought the whole thing was troublesome. Shino and Hinata were wisely silent. And for once, Kurenai and Asuma weren’t a topic of gossip between their genin. 

* * *

But Sakura’s use of the Mokuton often included stringing up her two teammates during another one of their arguments, until they begged her to let them go. Well, Sasuke didn't beg, because Uchihas don't _beg._ He asked nicely, and he used the word "please."

Rookie of the year, Uchiha Sasuke was _not_ a happy camper. Konoha’s number one prankster, Uzumaki Naruto already had a gazillion plans drawn out on chart paper for her powers’ new uses. 

The boys were jealous of her, because Sakura had another teacher. Sakura told them that her other new sensei had taught her a super super super cool jutsu, and they were both very jealous that she wouldn’t teach them.

Former ANBU captain, Hatake Kakashi, scratched his head about the implications of such a concept. 

“A Mokuton user, a Jinchuuriki and an Uchiha. There’s got to be a joke hidden somewhere in this.” 

Sakura also absolutely (ab)used her Mokuton in other ways. 

One cool, breezy morning, the team was once again waiting for their tardy sensei, when Naruto came up with a bright idea. 

“Sakura-chan.”

“Naruto.” 

“I have a great idea.”

It would probably be a mad idea. 

“What is it, Naruto?” 

“So, I found out where Kakashi-sensei lives,” he said, and he rubbed his hands together. “Do you want to pay him a visit? We can probably see under his mask.” 

Both Sasuke and Sakura looked at him. The wheels in Sakura’s head began to turn. 

“This is a bad idea.” 

“It’s a great idea,” Sakura said. 

“It’s a _mad_ idea. You’re breaking into a Jounin’s house. Do you know how dangerous that is?” Sasuke asked her. “Trust me. My brother’s ANBU.” 

Because his brother probably mentioned that it was a _very_ very bad idea to startle a Jounin more than once, while a young Sasuke was hanging by the ankle. 

“Sasuke,” Naruto began. 

“But Sasuke-kun,” Sakura began. “Don’t you want to—” 

“—look underneath Kakashi-sensei’s mask?” Naruto finished. 

They both gave him looks.

“Or are you too chicken?” Naruto snickered. 

Sakura waggled a brow at him.

And Uchiha Sasuke—son of the Uchiha clan-head—was not about to be a chicken. Nuh-uh. He was an Uchiha.

But… to save his hide, he was going to say that they plotted it, and he just tagged along to stop them. 

Both boys watched with some degree of fascination as the tree happily let down a large branch for all three of them to step onto. 

She, Naruto and Sasuke let themselves in through the window of the second storey apartment using the tree next door. Kakashi-sensei’s apartment was sparse, and he barely had anything in it. It was quiet. Too quiet. 

Naruto and Sasuke creeped up on the bed where they assumed Kakashi to be sleeping, and Naruto pried the covers down. Sasuke folded his arms, and he looked as well—curiously.

It was revealed to be pillows. 

To which, Naruto bellowed: “PILLOWS! Kakashi-sensei has turned into pillows!” 

He was ambushed. 

“I guess I could turn this into a lesson,” Kakashi said, as he roped Naruto up—who squirmed and kicked around. “Try not to yell before you assassinate your target, Naruto.” 

He then glanced at Sasuke. 

“And what are you doing here, Sasuke?” 

“They wanted to see under your mask,” Sasuke said.

“And let me guess, you tried to stop them?” 

Sasuke just shoved his hand into his pockets. “You sleep with your mask on,” he stated in retort. He felt slightly disappointed. 

He was also in his pajamas, Sasuke noted irritably. He was probably getting some shut-eye while they waited on the training ground. 

“Of course, Sasuke,” Kakashi said. “You never know when three of your cute little students might try to ambush you while you sleep. Speaking of, where is Sakura?” 

Sasuke opened his mouth, and then he frowned, and they both glanced into the passageway.

“Kakashi-sensei!” she called out. Sakura swung around the door frame. She was holding something behind her back. 

“Sakura-chan! If you had been here, you could have put Kakashi-sensei under your root-thingy, and we could have looked underneath his mask!” 

“Enough about that, Naruto! Do you see something wrong with this house!?”

Naruto, Sasuke and Kakashi just blinked back at her. Sakura looked almost indignant, and Kakashi looked at her with less indignance than he could muster.

“What’s wrong with my house, Sakura?” 

“It doesn’t have plants!” she said with a whine.

Naruto seemed to consider this thoughtfully while upside down. 

“We should get Kakashi-sensei a plant,” he said. 

“I already did! So—” She held out the item she was hiding behind her back. “Tada!” 

Kakashi glanced at his ricebowl filled with soil and a plant sprouting from it. 

“That’s great, Sakura-chan! Can you get the plant to spy on Kakashi-sensei and let us know what he looks like under the mask?” 

Sasuke and Kakashi just gave Naruto a funny look, before they realized what Naruto was implying. 

“Naruto, you idiot!” Sakura said. “We have to give our plant a name first! You can’t just use it like a—like a tool!” 

At which, Sasuke and Kakashi turned to look back at Sakura.

“Mr. Ukki!” 

“Mr. Ukki, it is!” 

Before the two of them got excitable, and before they could give Mr. Ukki a brother or a sister or maybe some first or even second cousins, he herded the trio out of his room with promises of breakfast. 

* * *

That night, as Kakashi walked into his bedroom after a long day of enduring his cute genin and D-ranks and explaining stealth to Naruto ("You mean I can't make a grand super entrance?"), he slumped onto his bed, mask still on his face, as he pulled on his softest pair of pajamas. 

The plant was staring at him. Or at least in Kakashi’s mind—he thought it was. 

Feeling a little uncomfortable, Kakashi gave the plant an awkward smile, before wondering if he should place it in the closet. 

But the plant looked intently at him. 

Kakashi’s impeccable shinobi senses were working against him. 

* * *

Sakura gave him an excited smile.

“Kakashi-sensei! How is the new plant? You should always make sure that plants get plenty of sunlight! Did you sleep well last night Kakashi-sensei?” 

She popped in front of him, and she waved.

“Plants are supposed to be a good source of oxygen, you know?” 

Kakashi just crinkled an exhausted, sleep-deprived smile at her. 

“Really?”

* * *

“Sasuke,” Uchiha Shisui asked his cousin one day after practice. “What are your teammates like?” 

Itachi—who had been training with them that morning—leaned in with interest. Sakura had come up as a point of gossip through the clan, and Sasuke frequently endured lots of questions about her. He had grown irritable of late.

“What’s there to say about her?” he snapped. 

Itachi was about to point out that Shisui asked about his _whole_ team, but his brother continued. 

“She’s absolutely insufferable with that stupid wood-jutsu of hers. She literally wraps vines around your legs, and the next thing you know, one of her _stupid_ trees is growing underneath you, and that’s it. That’s the end of the spar!” 

Shisui blinked. 

“She’s so insufferable. She’s got this stupid new jutsu that she’s learning and she won’t share what it is.” 

“Sasuke,” Shisui began. “Just because we have the sharingan doesn’t mean that we have to copy every new jutsu.” 

Sasuke grit his teeth. 

“Who’d want to copy that?” he barked at Shisui who blinked again. Itachi had neglected to mention that the sharingan was a bit of a sore subject for Sasuke, because he’d not activated it yet. “I bet it’s nothing special at all!” 

“Are you just jealous that she learned a new jutsu?” Shisui asked him. 

“That’s not it!” But that, in fact, as Sasuke’s ears reddened, was it. 

“Sasuke,” Itachi tutted. “She’s a very nice girl.” 

“How would you know, nii-san?” 

“She gave me a plant to take care of,” Itachi said.

Shisui and Sasuke turned to look at him. 

“Don’t tell me you _accepted_ it,” Sasuke said with horror. 

“Of course, I did,” Itachi said. “It’s very rude to turn down a nice gift like that.” 

“Her plants can _spy_ on you, nii-san! Throw it out!” 

“Sasuke, it’s just a plant.” 

“Knowing her—she _talks_ to plants!” 

“I talk to mine too,” Itachi said with a slight frown. “It helps the plant grow better.” 

Sasuke blinked at him. Shisui looked thoughtful before he spoke. “The Yamanaka do say that talking to flowers help them grow better, you know?” 

“That’s what Sakura-san told me.”

“It’s part of her plan! To take over Konoha! You’re all being duped!” 

But Shisui and Itachi just gave him a look that spelled confusion. Sasuke threw up his hands in frustration. 

* * *

And Sasuke glared at the plant that was on Itachi’s window-sill, every time he passed by. Itachi just gave his plant an apologetic smile to compensate for his foolish little brother’s bad manners. 

“Sasuke, you should get a plant too.” 

“No.” 

“Sasuke!” his mother said, as she turned around the corner of the hallway. “Your teammate is so sweet, she dropped by and brought some tomatoes that she grew herself.” 

For whatever reason, Sasuke glanced down at his stomach, as if he expected something to grow in there. 

“She even helped me grow a tomato plant out there in the garden. We’ll have our own tomatoes for lunch in a couple of months,” Mikoto said excitedly. “She’s such a sweet girl.” 

Sasuke jerked his head towards his mother in horror, and then he made a beeline for the door. He yanked on a shoe, and then snapped the other one. He nearly crashed into one of his clans-men as he made his way through the district, and past the gates, and into the civilian quarter. 

He snapped his wrist against the door of her house. Sakura opened the door, and she had mud smeared all over her face.

“Sasuke-kun?” she asked him.

She was, of course, holding a venus fly trap. 

“Stop giving my family plants!” he snapped. "Or tomatoes!"

She blinked. “Everyone in team seven has a plant. I think everyone should own a plant. It’s a good thing.”

“I’m not fooled,” he said. “I know it’s all part of your agenda.” 

“Sasuke-kun…” She frowned at her teammate. 

“I’m not going to let you fool me! I’ve got my eyes on you, Sakura. I will not let you infiltrate my family!”

And she watched as her teammate left, and she glanced back at the Venus flytrap with some confusion. 

“Sasuke-kun’s been looking at me funny, lately.” She shrugged. “Do you think he is just so jealous of me having super cool tree abilities?” 

And to the passer-by, they could have sworn that the Venus Flytrap snapped its jaws with a chuckle, and the tiny girl smirked. 

"Wait until they see my super super cool jutsu! They will be green with envy." 

* * *

Naruto was very ecstatic to receive a plant from Sakura-chan. Kakashi was still paranoid, but he bought an actual pot and watered it. He asked Gai to plant sit for him while he was away. But no one was more careful to take care of his plant than Itachi. He arrived from his mission, exhausted. He peeled off his ANBU gear, took a shower, and settled in bed in his softest pair of pajamas.

He then glanced at the plant. 

“My mission went well. And how was your day, Sora-kun?” 

The plant stared back at him.

“I can’t believe my little brother is growing up so quickly,” he continued. “He’s already off on his first mission.” 

* * *

Kakashi-sensei said that since they didn’t know the limits and extents of her powers yet. She should just stay back and guard Tazuna.

Sakura gave him a funny look, but she also read that as, “You’re our secret weapon, Sakura. You are the surprise attack that Zabuza wouldn’t anticipate. Like a branch to the face.” 

So she stood there and waited for an opportunity. 

The whole fight de-escalated pretty quickly. 

Yamato-sensei had told her not to use this jutsu under any circumstance unless she was in great danger. And this, Sakura thought, was probably considered great danger. Sasuke had finally activated his sharingan saving Naruto. Naruto was holding a staggering Sasuke. Kakashi-sensei was facing off against Zabuza, and he was bleeding out. 

So Sakura bit her thumb, drew some blood and slammed her palm onto the ground, and cried, “Summoning jutsu: Ents!” 

And everyone turned around to see a gigantic wooden tree-creature—an ent?—some nearly twenty-feet in height blink lazily. Naruto stumbled back. Sasuke looked afraid. Haku and Zabuza just stared. Kakashi didn’t say anything. 

“What the heck is this?” Naruto asked. 

“Humm…” the ent creature began slowly, dragging out the hum. “Why am I summoned, little one?” He dragged every syllable as well. 

“Sakura-chan! What the heck is that!?” Naruto yelled. 

“And what manner of little person is this?” The ent spoke really slowly, bending over to peer at Naruto in tandem. Naruto fell onto his backside, and he skittered back. Sasuke looked horrified, and Haku took a few steps back. 

“They were hurting my teammates,” Sakura explained. “I need you to stop them, Treebeard!”

The ent looked skeptically from Zabuza to Kakashi, who suddenly glanced at the Sakura warily. “Hummm… Let me think it over.” 

“Think it over?” Sakura screeched. “Think it over?” She stomped her foot. “You can’t think this over!” 

But unfortunately for Sakura, ents were very, very old creatures, and they took a very, very long time to decide things. Treebeard was in the process of thinking it over, and his eyes drooped shut. Zabuza decided that enough was enough, turned to Kakashi, who squared off against him once more. Haku turned to Naruto and Sasuke, and Sakura whimpered. 

But apparently, Gato had other plans. 

But then, they all heard footsteps from the bridge opposite him. Gato and his men approached with burning torches of flames and weapons, shrouded by the mist. Gato stated that he revoked his agreement. Zabuza and his men held up their swords ready to attack. 

“What do you mean ‘revoke the agreement?’” Zabuza asked him. 

“There is no way that you can win against them,” Gato said. “My men will take care of them.” 

At which, Sakura glanced back at her sleepy ent-friend. And she got a mad idea. She then walked over to a limp Sasuke—who had slumped onto the ground—and she whispered in his ear. Sakura didn’t want to do it this way, but it left her no choice. She turned to Tazuna. 

“Uh… I’m going to protect you. Don't worry!” 

Tazuna eyed her warily as she performed some hand seals, and he was now surrounded in a wooden cage. Kakashi turned to look in her direction and opened his mouth—

"Kakashi-sensei! Don't worry I've got it." 

She summoned a few logs beside Treebeard. 

There was only one way to rouse an ent. 

Sasuke, created a katon-no-jutsu, and the logs were lit on fire. They both turned to Treebeard. And Treebeard snapped open his eyes. His eyes darted to the logs burning on the ground. He took a step back at the furious expression.

“Who did this?” he thundered. The ground shook. "Who dares harm one of my trees in my presence?" 

Sasuke gulped. 

And Sakura pointed at the large group of Gato’s men.

"They did it!" The crowd gawped at her.

Treebeard scooped Sakura up. He took thundering steps down the bridge towards the men who suddenly looked very scared—while Sakura cackled on his shoulder. And Tree beard really couldn't see at ground level nor past the mist, and he was squinting in the distance, as if he saw a tower. Her team, Tazuna and Zabuza and Haku flew out of the way of the war-path. 

“Get ‘em! Tree-beard!” 

"My forest!" he roared through the mist. 

* * *

Needless to say, Naruto and Sasuke were green with envy, because of Sakura’s new jutsu. He had a feeling that this wouldn’t be the first of many strange and wonderful things Sakura could produce.

He was right. 

Gato and his men were punted off the bridge, and Zabuza decapitated him. Tazuna declared the bridge ‘The Great Sakura Bridge.’ Zabuza and Haku waved goodbye. Haku got a plant from Sakura. And Sakura beamed with happiness because of how helpful she was being. 

Because Kakashi and Sasuke were injured, Sakura decided to be helpful again.

“Kakashi-sensei.” She turned to her Sensei. “Sasuke-kun! I will help carry you both back.” 

They both gave her a funny look. 

To help, Sakura then brought her hands together to form a dozen wood golems, barely half a foot tall with round bodies and arms. There were occasionally branches sprouting out from them, and they had black shiny eyes on tiny heads. Whatever Naruto, Sasuke, Tazuna—from his wooden cage—and Kakashi had been expecting, it certainly hadn’t been this.

“At your service, Sakura-hime!” they all chorused with a salute. 

“I need you to carry my teammates back home!” she told them. 

“Sakura-chan, what—?” Naruto asked, feeling bewildered. Sakura turned to him with a grin on her face. 

“They are my minions. Yamato-sensei taught me this new jutsu. I use them to help me out at home! With my plant nursery! Aren't they cute?" 

None of them commented, and Naruto just squinted at them as if he was trying to figure out their new use. 

Kakashi and Sasuke were gingerly picked up like they were a sack of potatoes, and cradled them as their hands formed a wooden nest. Neither of them looked remotely happy about the arrangement. 

“Where to, boss?” one of them asked Sakura. She walked over to the wooden cage, and they all watched as it receded. She looked towards Tazuna, beaming. He scratched his head and he began to lead the way. 

"This has been the oddest day of my life," he muttered. 

Naruto followed Sakura, before he got an idea. He tapped her on the shoulder. “Hey. Sakura-chan, what if—” 

“Naruto, you are _not_ borrowing my minions for your pranks.” 

“Sakura-chaann!” he whined in his ear. 

This was going to be a very weird mission report, Kakashi thought as he was bobbed up and down. 

.

.

.

"Sakura-chan?" 

"Naruto?" 

"Can you turn into a tree as well?" 

Sakura looked brightly at him. "I haven't tried that. But you know what—"

"Please don't," Kakashi-sensei and Sasuke chorused. 

**Author's Note:**

> Sakura is OP~
> 
> Whoooo.


End file.
